Things We Won't Regret

Here's an article by Kevin DeYoung from The Gospel Coalition website. A friend emailed it to me today and I was really reminded to RELAX on a few things (in particular, my children!)

here's the link and below that I've just copy and pasted it (because I THINK I've created a link but I'm not sure . . .I'm not a very good blogger. ha.)

http://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevindeyoung/2014/10/08/what-we-wont-regret/

After writing yesterday’s post on God’s “regret” and then reading R.C. Sproul Jr. write poignantly about how he regrets not holding his wife’s hand more, I got to thinking about all the things we are likely not to regret when we get to the end of our days.

We won’t regret playing hide and seek with our children.

We won’t regret turning off the t.v. and putting the phone away.

We won’t regret that one night (or week, or even season of life) we let the kids get happy meals just so they would be happy and we could survive.

We won’t regret singing the same hymns over and over until they became familiar enough to sing with the saints around a hospital bed.

We won’t regret the time we spent hiding the word in our hearts.

We won’t regret jumping in a pile of leaves every fall.

We won’t regret overlooking a lot of little things that bother us about our spouses.

We won’t regret kissing our spouse in front of the kids.

We won’t regret going to bed with a messy house if that meant we had time to chase the kids around in the backyard.

We won’t regret all the wasted time with friends.

We won’t regret laughing often and laughing loudly.

We won’t regret hugging our kids whenever they’ll let us.

We won’t regret the times the kids slept in our beds and the times in the middle of the night we had to carry them softly back to theirs.

We won’t regret being a little bit goofy.

We won’t regret asking for forgiveness, and we won’t regret forgiving those who ask.

We won’t regret dancing at weddings–fast and silly with our kids, slow and sweet with our spouse.

We won’t regret giving most people the benefit of the doubt.

We won’t regret commiting to a good church and sticking around.

We won’t regret learning to play the piano, read music, or sing in parts.

We won’t regret reading to our children.

We won’t regret time spent in prayer.

We won’t regret going on long road trips filled with frustrations, but full with memories.

We won’t regret letting our kids be kids.

We won’t regret walking with people through suffering.

We won’t regret trusting Jesus.

There's Always One . . .

This week that one, is my son. 

We went to a fundraiser - "A day on the farm" last weekend for a day and it was just lovely. We drove west of Brisbane and really enjoyed not being in the city for a day. The boys in the pic are our friends children. My dear friend Carla told us about it and once again Lyle commented on how much he wants to have a farm . . . (he keeps saying that we could convert the trampoline into a chicken coop but I'm sure Lindi has put a stop to those meditations, at least for now.)

But wait! There's more . . .

A new baby on the way is a pretty hard act to follow, but if you ask my husband, our latest addition is almost more special (at least that's the impression I'm getting . . .)

Meet Lindi

She's a 10 week old Staffy x Bull Arab

(if you're unfamiliar with Bull Arabs they're a massive hunting dog)

She likes everyone

but she likes Lyle most of all

(it could be that he lets her sleep inside and sit on the couch with him for hours on end)

Lindi is from the Zulu umlindi meaning guardian which is fun (if you speak Zulu and that is wrong feel free to comment!) She is 100% my husbands dog (read:responsibility). Which technically means he will buy me a new handbag strap to replace the one Lindi decided to use as a chew toy.

You will notice there are no photos of my daughter and the dog. This would be due to the fact that she is rather terrified of dogs. However, she is steadily growing in affection and will pat her if Lindi isn't in a 'nippy' mood - her baby teeth of course are very sharp and 5 year olds don't really like that (I can't imagine why . . .)

She had a vet check today (a vaccination too) and has a clean bill of health. It'll be nice to not have people coming into our yard so freely to try and sell us solar panels for our roof.

Baby #3

We are expecting again. How cool is that?

This is an early scan.

I don't really like these early scans because I think they always look a bit weird but it does look more like a baby than the first scan, which was (at almost 6 weeks) merely an actual peanut shape.

I'm due at the end of March which is good timing because it will be at the end of/after the first term of Emma's year one and Will's kindy. And a great thing about Will having kindy is that I will get guaranteed naps twice a week after baby arrives!

So far morning sickness has been very similar to the other two which is comforting. I'm now 13.5 weeks along and feeling better some days. I seem to have afternoon sickness more than anything.

The children are extremely excited as you can imagine. Initially they didn't believe us. I had said to Emma that I was never going to have another baby in my tummy so basically stop asking. So I had to explain that I simply changed my mind! She was so sweet, she asked "so did you pray for a baby and God put one in your tummy?" William on the other hand pushed his dining room chair back, looked under the table, got out of his seat to come around to me and with his hands on his hips he said very boldly (and he seemed a bit cross actually) "You do NOT have a baby in your tummy!" as they say, seeing is believing. After some convincing they came around to the idea and were actually speechless for a good few minutes - which for my children is astounding. Emma, ever gracious, would like a girl but follows that statement with "but I'd like a boy for William" adding she wouldn't be disappointed if it were a boy. Will on the other hand is insistent on a boy. They will be 4 and 6 when baby is born, and I'm looking forward to the age difference. I'm a little shocked that I'm doing it all again. Today a friend with a 5 month old was over and I would lie if I said it didn't make me a tad nervous. Or rather, exhausted. In the meantime the name game is on. Lyle has already vetoed one girls name I really liked but truthfully I've kind of gone off it too. He had a girls name he really liked also but I vetoed it . . .

M.I.A.

Obviously I've been MIA for a while. I'm pretty sure it's almost all to do with the fact that I have a child in school. When William was born a mum at church kindly said "it only gets busier and busier and busier". I won't lie, it hurt to hear it! But I was and still am glad for the heads up. It's a very different kind of busy today from almost 4 years ago when he was born but it's way more adventurous and fun.

In July we went to Saint Saens Carnival of the Animals. It was actually a blend of Saint-Saens music and a circus group, Circa. They did some very clever acrobatics and the children's mouths were quite open in amazement.

 I was so pleased to take Emma to her first show. They loved it and Lyle and I were thoroughly entertained also.

These were taken on a Sunday afternoon walk. The kids were initially rolling down the hill then I told them to jump together. They couldn't get it at the same time (AT ALL) but they were giggling the whole way, it was a lovely family time.

They look so similar in this photo (which as a mum I think you don't often see in your children, unless they're twins I suppose).

You can see the giggles.

Encouraging Chats

Chatting with a friend today about mummy blogs she expressed her realisation that she was parenting in a style that wasn’t her own. Rather she had conformed to someone else's ideal of godly motherhood. I think because we have the word of God to guide us we can easily place pressure on ourselves to be perfect. The bible is clear about raising children.

Proverbs 22:6 “Raise a child in the way he should go; when he is old he will not depart from it” (ESV).

Proverbs 22:15 “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him”

Those two verses are about our role as parents and this one I’ve taught the children because it is so necessary for them to know it.

Proverbs 4:10-13 “Hear, my son, and accept my words, that the years of your life may be many. I have taught you the way of wisdom; I have led you in the paths of uprightness. When you walk, your step will not be hampered, and if you run, you will not stumble. Keep hold of instruction; do not let go; guard her, for she is your life.”

And this one’s for the whole family and is kind of a rephrase and addition of Proverbs four.

Ephesians 6:1-4 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honour your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

When I read these passages it’s very clear how we are to raise our children, why we do it and how God honours it. However, because we are all sinful we will always fail in this. It is easy to create in ourselves an inferiority complex, thinking and feeling that all other Christian mothers are “better at this than me therefore I must be like them”.

I was encouraged by my friends words today because I’ve seen this in myself - my over critical analysis of my school lunch making, discipline and craft time (or lack thereof) with my needy toddler. I have recently, after another lost battle with anger and impatience, realised my parenting style it totally consistent with that painful category “completely flawed”. With that, I raise my white flag and push on. There is nothing unforgivable by the powerful blood of the lamb and no sin so great in my life that the Holy Spirit cannot change me. Thankfully, I’m not so strong as to not be bended and shaped by an all powerful God. Thankfully.

South Africa in May

May this year saw us on a two week trip to South Africa for Lyle's sister's wedding. The children were very excited but I think William's age caused him to be quite anxious before we left, poor boy. Emma's excited anticipation was understandable as she remembers our plane flights to the USA but Will was left in the dark somewhat, trying to figure out why exactly he was meant to be excited. That said, he was a champ. I was amazed at the ease of our flights. The children coped beautifully in our travels (read: Emma watched 12 hours straight of Peppa Pig) and over all they did a great job of adjusting to each moment, expected and unexpected. Not to mention all the new faces they were forced to discover. The Lord was good to us on our trip. I was worried about our safety, and worried that the children wouldn't cope with the massive daily changes being out of their environment, but God is truly good and He faithfully answered every one of my prayers.

Overall it was a fabulous trip. I love being in Durban when I'm there. When I'm not all I can think is how comfortable I am in Brisbane and how "dangerous" South Africa is. So, the fact that I say our trip was fabulous is truly something for which I can thank a very kind and gracious God.

Our first flight was around 6am from Brisbane to Sydney. After 2 more planes ('a big one and a little one') we landed, exhausted and safely in Durban.

By the end of the first week we had made our way to Lake Naverone in the Drakensberg. A family holiday destination for Lyle's family (immediate and extended) for many years. Stacey very cleverly chose this location for her wedding.

Enjoying a row in a boat, just the four of us.

Buddy being either jet lagged or intrigued.

Our angels ready for their role in the wedding.

Here's a link to the wedding photos. The photographers are friends of ours - Andy and Lyle went to high school together.

http://www.knotjustpics.co.za/stacey-and-warren-at-lake-naverone-2

The children sat beautifully for me at the wedding, and I let them take photos. I have a feeling I took this one though - Emma managed to cut a few heads off when it was her turn.

Lyle officiated the wedding. Such a simple statement - the whole thing was almighty ordeal for him though. He got SO sick when were at the lake and I really can't believe he managed to stand for the hour he needed too. A very unexpected situation for us but again, God was so kind to allow him good health for long enough to do his part and bless his family.

This was early one morning feeding the ducks. 

Lyle went fishing and caught two trout, one of which we (Lyle and William) ate for breakfast.

The children watched as Lyle prepared and cooked it - such a great experience for them!

The glory of God displayed in Autumn colours!

Of course we made it a priority to see some African animals! Needless to say how great it was to give this experience to our children.  

Isn't this a great photo?! How can giraffe's not be funny?

We also visited Ushaka Marine World in Durban. The aquarium is really well done.

A little lad all tuckered out.

One sincere regret is the serious lack of photos we took of our friends!!! We love them all so much and it was such a joy to have sweet fellowship with so many (but not enough) old faces. We also went to Kerry's wedding - Kerry introduced Lyle and I to each other in 2006/2007 (new years weekend) when I first went to Africa. To join in her wedding was such a lovely highlight, it was so fun that it was the weekend after Aunty Stacey's. It didn't feel like I hadn't been there since 2009 which is nice. I like that there's a couple of countries I can't visit and feel so at home, even though they're not mine.

It was a great time for the four of us to enjoy each other. I certainly appreciate my husband, it was really fun to be all together the whole time. I suppose that's what holidays are about, but this was just a really blessed time by God's grace.

Thankfulness

After our recent family’s trip to South Africa for Aunty Stacey’s wedding, we decided to help our children understand more about poverty and in turn, thankfulness. In Brisbane, it certainly exists but is well hidden. The lesson in mind is to teach them to have thankful hearts for what we have from God and simultaneously encourage their hearts to grow with compassion for the needy and ultimately, the lost.

So we agreed that upon our return we are to have rice for dinner once a week. Rice, and only rice. Although, I realised that because they are only three and five it may be a good thought to add some salt and butter. Yeah OK, I confess, they couldn't care less about the butter and salt, but I really need it!

Little did I realise that my children’s love of rice (and I mean serious love) would preclude this parentally desired life lesson. We have only had two weeks and each night has been very pleasant as they have devoured their salted/buttered rice without complaint - and I think unfortunately without comprehension of the object lesson. A further unfortunate fact is that Emma is having a massive growth spurt and after begging for dessert we gave in and allowed her some rockmelon (cantaloupe) after her plate of rice.

Regardless, we will continue to eat rice once a week and discuss how and why we should be thankful every moment for what the Lord has given us. If anything, I'm certainly being refined by it . . . something for which to be thankful.

Bananas In Pyjamas Honey Cakes Recipe

1 cup self raising flour

2 TBS sugar

1 TBS honey

2 tsp melted butter

½ cup milk soured w/ 1 tsp vinegar

Make them the same way you'd make pikelets. :)

Initially I accidentally used 2 tablespoons of honey and they were still super tasty. They really are 'cakey' as well AND because they have so much sugar in them you don't need to top them with butter or jam.

This is how they evolved. My children asked me to make pikelets one day but very unusually we didn't have any eggs in the house. I googled 'eggless pikelets' the recipe called for golden syrup (also missing from my pantry) so I used honey instead. And so was created Bananas in Pyjamas Honeycakes!

Buddy wasn't impressed because they didn't look the same colour as the ones on Bananas in Pyjamas. Of course he gobbled them up anyway.

Fabulous and Five

Five years ago God deemed it good in His kind will to allow us to meet our darling girl. It is an overwhelming blessing to have children and to be given the responsibility to care for, raise, love, bless, provide and teach our little ones is unspeakable joy. Being a mother is without a doubt one of the absolute greatest things to ever happen to me. I seem to be in a constant state of changing emotions and whether it be joy, fear, frustration or exhaustion I am aware that having children is a great responsibility. I am so thankful that God is faithful to His word and their salvation and wellbeing is in His safe and perfect hands.

It amazes me that despite my feelings of absolute ineptitude my daughter is one of the most amazing little girls who ever lived. Yes, that is a total exaggeration, but this is my blog, so bear with me. [confession: I had to google if that was BEAR or BARE . . .it's bear]

She is compassionate, a faithful friend, funny, beautiful, clever, athletic, musical and most delightfully to us she is growing in her understanding of God.

Clearly I could continue, but I shan't.

I was allowed to stay for the morning in her class, which delighted me no end. It was comforting to watch the teacher interacting with her class and I was happy to see she has them in ship-shape order.

The classroom has a birthday chair. I haven't seen her cross her legs before - Lyle and I laughed at this photo.

I was desperate NOT to have a party and she of course was desperate to have one. Despite the wretched heat wave we have been experiencing the compromise resulted in bought cupcakes [read: extensive mother-guilt] and play in a nearby park after school.

Our dear friend Maddie is at a different school but thankfully still in the vicinity so she was able to join us.

All the little friendies who were able to celebrate with us.

[These photos (possibly due to heat stress on my part) are blurry but some the only ones I have from Emma's 5th birthday - I'm seriously considering changing her birth date to March.]

A big cheer for the birthday girl.

I'm loving this age. Five years is so very short and I am overwhelmed (but so very thankful) at the influence I have on her life. In those moments I can't only trust in God's word that He has all things planned for His glory - even my being a mum to this sweetheart.

Ladies and Gentlemen . . . .

We have a school student in our house!!

The little miss is now in grade "Prep"!

Today marks the end of her first full week. By Wednesday she was exhausted, not wanting to go because she was too tired. Thankfully her teacher is more than happy for them to sleep in on the days they do and arrive a little bit late. It's such a huge transition. She did Kindy 5 days/fortnight and now it's 5 days/week with only a very short rest time.

Apparently all the kids were sad that rest time was so short and they all looked forward to it very much.

 We have an abundance of green and yellow ribbons care of Granny and Grandpa's fabric shop.

 This is her locker. Cap, water bottle and 'munch and crunch' on top, rest time pillow and sheet next, her MASSIVE school bag and then shoes in the bottom. It's lovely to see the practical organisation that goes into it. It really is like Kindy for big kids. 

Already she's told me about which letters in the alphabet they're concentrating on at the moment, her music class, library time and of course her new friend. Her name is Hannah and I was glad to meet her mum the other day.

I'm feeling pretty distressed about the whole thing. I hate that other people can influence her for 6 hours each day. I don't think that feeling will ever go away. I'm glad that she is in an excellent school and adjusting very well to being there. I'm sure the Easter holidays will be a well needed break for us. I'm emotionally exhausted, Emma's physically exhausted and William is oh so lonely. When we walk away from her class each day he states "I miss Emma". They really are best friends and I'm sad for them that they have so much time apart now. sigh. I can be thankful that God is in control of her life and will direct her steps all her days.

Merry Christmas from us!

Merry Christmas!

We've had a wonderful month looking at our advent calendar learning of the Christmas story. It's been wonderful to dwell on the birth of our Saviour all month and the children have learned so much. I've really loved it too. Not only watching the kids learn, but reiterating the story for myself.

We've looked at why the angel said "Do not be afraid", why Mary and Joseph went to Bethlehem, the fact that the shepherds hurried to see Jesus, that God used angels to proclaim Him. One night Lyle also read the story of Zechariah, Elizabeth and John, explaining the connection between John and Jesus, how the wise men knew of Jesus birth, that they gave him gifts, what those gifts were . . .

and most importantly WHY Jesus came to live on earth.

He came to earth,

He lived a perfect life

He was punished by God instead of us in death,

He rose again and CONQUERED sin and evil.

(we get to dwell on that again in Easter!)

William seems to be hooked Easter, he constantly repeats (when he see's a cross on a church or anywhere) "Jesus died on the cross to f'gave our sins".

I can't resist adding this. We bought the boy a totem tennis set for his present and he LOVES it. We put it outside this morning and, for the most part, he's doing pretty well.

I love it when that camera button is pressed just at the right moment....

I'm convinced he'll improve.

Last Day of Kindy!

Today we reached the next of many milestones in our daughters life - her last day of Kindy! It's been a wonderful year - in great part due to these two wonderful women.

Mrs Male

Mrs Shearer 

Emma's teachers have been simply amazing. I don't even have the words to express how much I have loved them being her teachers. They had such lovely organisation of the classroom and yearly program that each child in their classroom thrived. William slowly became a part of the furniture in that room this year. The Mrs Shearer in particular was very kindly responsive to him as he grew. He would frequently pick periwinkles from the outside plant and bring them into her as we arrived at kindy.

Because Emma's at a Christian kindy it's been a joy to know that she has had that influence on her life at kindy. The fact that God made the world and everything in it has great impact on how we live and treat others in our daily lives. Having taught our kids this truth it has been excellent to see it followed up in her education.

For their last day the children hosted/had a Christmas party to which all the parents were invited. We had loads of fun. My favourite part of the concert was a darling boy who held the bright star. Mrs Male read his cue and a moment later he realised and said "oh, that's me isn't it?!" and raised his star up high above his head. He is an adorable little boy.

Emma was a sheep. She was going to introduce the concert along with her bestie Alex, saying "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is the activity* of Jesus" (*nativity) She was practicing all week but on the day the pressure was too much!

Here is my sheep and her fellow sheep.

The children all chose their parts. I have to confess I was slightly jealous when I saw the beautiful angels dressed up,  but she was a great sheep.

(that silly camera face smile . . .)

Here they all are (Em in the front with her fellow sheep) singing

Party food galore! They made their own bon bons, placemats, party hats, and gifts of tic tac toe for us parents! (i.e. their entire term of craft was Christmas themed.)

I thank God for the joy of being her mum,

I thank God for the privilege of watching her grow,

I thank God for the unique, amazing person she is,

I thank God for her. *sniff*

Farm Day (snapshot from September!)

Kindy does a farm day each year and not only are parents encouraged to join in, little brothers were too! which made one little brother rather thrilled. 

Emma and her friend, Ben. I couldn't have snapped a better picture if I tried. I love that she is such a sweet friend to others.

On the big BUS!

He was mesmerised (I suppose his carseat and our car doesn't allow him to see out the window so well) and he thought the 'big boy' seatbelt was very fun.

Ready for a horse ride!

He rode with Alicia's little brother, so cute!

They were both rather scared of feeding the calves. I remember doing this when I was four, I was petrified so I didn't have great expectations for them.

BUT . . . .She was very brave to feed the pig!

Holding a chick.

This was my favourite part - they both milked cows!! I'm pretty sure I pushed in, I made sure they were at the front of the line because my mum grew up on a dairy farm and I had to let them have a turn!

It was a fun day. We love kindy.